Promotional image for “Home Country with Slim Randles,” featuring an older man with a white beard, glasses, and cowboy hat smiling beside a country scene with a red truck.

Home Country

Slim Randles

“Boys, I gotta tell you,” said our old pal Windy Wilson, “This cold transmits me

reversely to the winter of ’47. Cold? It thicklicated your blood so much you could

hardly walk. You remember it, Doc? Ol’ Miller at the dairy had to ignitiolize a fire

under the milk separator to liquinate it. Why, even the dickie birds got refrigelated

up and crashed!

“You boys know about them engine heatilations, right? Well, it was so cold we

were obligatored to pre-heat the blamed firewood before we could burn it. Diesel

trucks were immobilating up at sixty miles an hour and it still took them a mile and

a half to stop.

“Some of the women were knitling up sweaters that would fit two people, just to

take advantage of the body heat. Dang near caused epilemic divorce, ‘cause the

husband wanted to go one way and the wife another. I tell you, it was

parsimonium! It was blame near four days and nights erstwhile an ol’ he-coon

down ‘long Lewis Creek recomnized he’d been treed by the hounds, ‘cuz the dogs’

bawling frosticated up concretely afore he could hear it.”

Windy paused for a sip or two. No one wanted to interrupt.

“Some winters,” Windy said, “just take the former limitarions to obliqueness!”

Yeah. We’d always figured it that way, too.

Brought to you by “Dogsled, A True Tale of the North,” by Slim Randles. Find

it at Amazon.com.


About

Mark Pettus is Publisher of The Chattahoochee News-Herald & Sneads Sentinel. He can be reached at mark.pettus@prioritynews.net


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