The ‘sweetest gift’ that makes me turn — and run
Nancy Kennedy
Every so often I see a man at a busy intersection holding a sign that says, “Repent of your sins.”
Not exactly the kind of message that makes people jump for joy.
More like the kind that makes you squirm in your seat and avoid eye contact as you drive by.
Although, maybe we should jump for joy.
As a Christian, I believe in repentance. It’s biblical. Without it, there’s no forgiveness of sin.
But I’ve come to realize repentance is also something far deeper — and far sweeter — than I ever thought.
The book “TrueFaced” calls repentance “the sweetest gift of grace.” Author Bill Thrall says we naturally bristle at the idea.
“When we don’t know what to do with our sin, we try to hide it,” he writes. “We’ve been told to confess, but we don’t like that answer. Besides, we’ve confessed a thousand times over, and what good did it do?”
He compares living with unresolved sin to wearing a thick, insulated parka on the hottest day in the Sahara Desert — suffocating, with no idea why or what to do about it.
Repentance, he says, is the zipper out of the sweltering parka.
“In the middle of our misery, Jesus taps us on the shoulder and says, ‘I have something for you that cost me everything to get. It’s a gift of my grace. Take it, apply it, and trust me to make it real.’”
“Repentance is a gift of God’s grace because your repentance literally doesn’t have a chance without it,” Thrall says. “Contrary to what many believe, repentance is not merely a matter of the will.”
If I simply decide to stop sinning, try harder, or feel sorry enough, I might be able to stir up a few moments of remorse. But unless God also gives me the “sweetest gift of grace,” true repentance won’t happen.
I can’t count how many times I’ve confessed the same sin, telling God how much I don’t want to do it anymore — and then, five minutes later, I’m looking for loopholes and exceptions. A way to manage it.
It’s not repentance if I’m still looking for loopholes.
I often think about what the apostle Paul wrote: that God is the one who makes us both willing and able (Philippians 2:13).
I love how it always starts with God. He initiates. We respond.
The same God who calls us to repent also reverses our unwillingness and inability, giving us both the “want to” and the “how to.”
I’ve gone from saying, “I won’t!” to “I can’t,” to “I would if I knew how.” And God, in his grace, has shown me how — how to repent, how to turn around.
And then he enabled my feet to run toward him.
And he always runs toward me first.
True repentance is my grateful response to God’s mercy. Surprisingly, it leads not to shame, but to relief — not condemnation, but joy.
A joyful eagerness to turn from sin. That’s a gift. That’s grace.
Only grace can turn something I’ve tried to avoid at all costs into something I now find delight in.
That’s the miracle of grace: God gives what he requires.
And when he calls me to turn, he also meets me in the turning.Contact Nancy Kennedy at 352-564-2927 (leave a message) or email at nkennedy@chronicleonline.com.
