Begone Bunnies
Judy Conlin
I know I told you that the easter decorations were staying up until after my next company goes home after the first of May, but I’m afraid that nit is not going to happen. We all know that live bunnies multiply quickly, but I didn’t know that the same thing happens with decorative bunnies. I put up less decorations than usual this year as I have aged a tiny bit, and then I went to an after Easter sale and picked up some real hug bargain bunnies which I also put up. Now I am so sick of bunnies!
There are a boy and girl ceramic bunny dressed up in their Easter best sitting on my hearth. A rope of pastel colored bunnies hangs down across the mantel, and 7 little wooden bunnies sit atop the mantel. There is a bunny-shaped candy dish on the coffee table and stuffed bunnies on many pieces of furniture. Bunnies hang from every doorknob and cupboard handle. Small bunny statues perch on every flat surface. Bunnies are cute but this population has exploded.
As if the bunny overload isn’t enough, there are chickens and peeps and colored plastic eggs all over the kitchen along with Easter baskets and one huge bowl of candy .I ate so much candy I vomited the other night, scaring the cats and almost missing theater the next morning. I have given bags of candy to anyone who drops by but still have filled baskets for my guests coming in May.
My house id giving me the heebie jeebies. There are little beady glass eyes staring at me wherever I go. A gal must have some privacy. I want to have a place that looks festive for my company, but how much must a gal have to take?
I ponder this and , for health reasons, if nothing else, the big bowl of candy is the first to go. My mouth waters as the chocolate bunnies and the marshmallow peeps disappeared into a large plastic bag which I then sealed up and tried to hide from myself. I felt better but those bunnies just called me temptingly. They weren’t the creatures that stared at me following every move I made. I had to do something about those guys.
I decided to remove the new ale items next. There were 3 giant hanging rabbits and 4 pretty placements featuring rabbit ears. I put them away for new decorating items next year.. That still left all those staring creatures. Their stares turned into sorrowful pitiful looks as I gathered them all up. Whether they were stuffed, ceramic, or cloth or plastic, they all were downcast by this removal process. I was feeling bad but I was also feeling better if you can understand that. This house was becoming more my own again.
The fireplace adornments were the first that went up and now were the last to come down. Before I could whisk them away completely, Nurse Judy, my silly alter ego, arrived on the scene. “What are you doing?” she demanded.
“Taking down the decorations,” I said tersely. “Easter is over.”
“I don’t understand,” she said. “I thought you were leaving things up for the new visitors.”
“I can’t stand the chaos,” I say. “I want things to get back to normal.”
I could tell this didn’t sit well with her, but I wasn’t sure why. “ I didn’t realize you were attached to the decorations,” I said, “ since you never lift a finger to help put them up.”
“I don’t care about the decorations”, she says,” but you took the stuffed animals and the chocolate bunnies and peeps that the Easter bunny brought me. They were mine- not yours. You had no right touching them.” She began to cry
I feel terrible. I had no idea Nurse Judy still believed in the Easter bunny. I guess she will never grow up. There is nothing to do but unseal that candy and return it to the big bowl. Otherwise, she will steal those baskets for the guests.
The crisis is over. The house is more normal. I just hope I don’t start vomiting again. The sacrifices I make for that woman!
More later,
Judy www.nursejudyinfo.com
