I had a dream
Judy Conlin
I dream a lot. I dream about every mistake I’ve made in life and it’s a good thing I’m so old or I wouldn’t have time for all those dreams. I often dream about driving a car and being lost. An analyst would probably give serious thought to my sanity and interpret those to mean I never have any idea where I’m going. In other dreams I am working as hard as I can, but the work keeps piling up higher and higher and I just keep on going although the end is never in sight. I seldom have happy dreams which I find confusing because I am a happy person. I think about all this.
Yes, I truly am a happy person. I love life. I love people. I’ve loved every single one of my jobs. I never made the best choices of employment based on salary, ability to get ahead or such. I chose things I loved to do over most other criteria. I love writing. I love writing books and my columns. I do not like the promotion or selling part and I do very little of it. I write happy endings. I want people to get a smile or a lift when they read my stuff. That is the best reward one can get. Getting paid to do what you love is amazing.
It really is confusing why I am so happy most of the time and have such dark dreams. As always when I think too much about anything I turn to the very worst person there is to try to help me figure things out- Nurse Judy. Nurse Judy is my alter ego who thinks everything about me is wrong including such things as my personal appearance, my fashion sense, my social skills, my driving skills, my cooking, my housekeeping, and just about anything else you could name.
Having said all this, I know you are wondering why I would turn to her for answers. The truth is she has been with me every day of my life. She knows everything about me and has no qualms in pointing out all my faults. Even so, the main reason is probably because there is no one else around to confer with. She meets me on the lanai. (See what I mean? That’s her word getting in my column. I would have said: “meets me on the porch’”)
“Nurse Judy, why do you think I have such dark dreams and yet I’m so happy?” I ask.
Without blinking an eye, she says blithely, “You’re probably schizophrenic.”
This throws me for a loop.
“You are not a psychiatrist, and I am not schizophrenic,” I blast back.
She smirks.
“I callz em like I seez em,” she says.
I am upset, but then something hits me. “You think I’ve done so many things wrong,” I say. “You think I don’t know where I’m going. You think I work too much instead of doing what you like to do. You think I am crazy, always looking for a happy ending. Do you have something to do with those not so pleasant dreams?’
“I am your alter ego,” she says enigmatically.
I feel better, I remember I had a dream this week after my patient passed away and I was feeling awful. I’m not even sure it was a dream. I couldn’t sleep but I closed my eyes. I was staring up into the clouds . I saw the little dog running across the clouds. His ears were flapping, and he looked happy and there coming the other way was my patient. He looked young again and was smiling at his dog. The dog jumped up on him and then the two of them walked off into the clouds. I opened my eyes, and my awful feelings were gone.
I lay there in wonder. Was this a message from God, was it a daydream, or was it my own creative imagination searching for a happy ending? I choose to believe it was the first.
I tell all this to Nurse Judy.,” Of course I had something to do with your bad dreams,” she said. “I am part of you. I also had the same good dream you had,” she said, “and I came to the same conclusion that you did.”
“Thank you,” I said, giving her a hug.
She looked embarrassed. “I still think you’re a frump,” she said defiantly.
More later,
Judy
www.nursejudyinfo.com
P.S. God is good.
