She Ain’t as Good as She Used to Be
Judy Conlin
I have belonged to the Moose in Tallahassee for ages and used to play bingo there twice a week with a little turn on the dance floor following each session. This hasn’t happened now for many years. It’s not because I no longer like bingo. I love the game. It’s not because I’m old since I was old back then. It’s because I am REALLY old now. I don’t feel comfortable driving at night. I have trouble sitting, standing or walking for long periods. ( Let’s face it. I have trouble walking anytime). On top of these restrictions, I’m much more frugal than I was then. A turn on the dance floor would be a turn toward the door to go home. AHHHHH, times have changed.
Out of the blue, a former hairdresser of mine, who had come to see me in our Acing Up Players show at Tallahssee Theater, called me and invited her to a night of Bingo on the 4th of July, , I politely declined citing all the reasons I just told you. She told me she was going to drive all the way from Tallahssee to the woods in Lake Tallavana to pick me up and return me after 10:30 at night. I was too proud to tell her that at 10:30 PM I am usually fast asleep in my chair, if not in my bed. She had made an offer I could not refuse, so the deal was made.
Sure enough at 4:30 Pm she came chugging up my driveway and carried me off to a former favorite pastime. Despite the ravages of time, many long-time members greeted me and lied about how good I looked as I stumbled along. As usual, I reveled in all the attention and tried to believe their many lies.
It was not such fun standing in the very long line to get our papers, and my friend had to tell me what to get as I had no idea what any of them were for. Forty dollars later I was relieved to be back in my seat, thinking I was done with the hard part. No such luck. Those papers were only for later. You had to purchase papers for each game of the early session, plus they were selling tickets for horses and gold something at the same time. Making these decisions and getting the money out was well beyond my capabilities, but I bravely carried on, tragically poorer after each round.
Next came the calling and daubing. I was very proud of the fact that I still had my old bingo bag full of at least 20 daubers. I soon found that those daubers had not dried up as I feared. They gushed out globs of color all over my papers, my hands and the table. My friend used her glass of water to try and clean me and the mess up. Luckily when I got my papers, they had given me a new dauber because they said I was a new member. I was whisked away before I could explain that I wasn’t new.. I had paid my dues right along but just hadn’t attended. Nevertheless, I was very grateful for a dauber that didn’t explode all over everything.
I struggled through early bingo and as I was purchasing the sheets at the table I did not have too many and almost managed to keep up. Regular bingo was a disaster. My friend had an unrealistic view of my capabilities when she told me what to buy. She remembered me from the old days when I could do 4 or 5 papers at once. Those days were over. I was daubing as fast as I could, missing numbers and trying to figure out what I missed as everyone else was now 2 numbers beyond that. My friend grabbed some of my messy papers and tried daubing mine as well as hers. I was completely demoralized.
I was covered with ink, exhausted, and winless when the session ended. My friend had won $500. Old friends lined up to hug me and tell me that now I had to come every week. I smiled wanly as my friend somehow steered me out the door and into her car. She got me home at 11PM. I don’t know what time she got home. I am pretty sure she won’t be making such a magnanimous offer to me again any time soon. That’s okay. It’s going to take me a long time to recover and build up my bank account.
I’m glad I tried this and probably will go back, but only for early evenings. Next year I’m going to spend the 4th of July eating a hot dog in my recliner watching the fireworks on TV. I’ve learned there is a little regression between the ages of 79 and 89. Maybe I can get it back if I start a little slower. I’m going to try. It just proves that if you don’t use it , you lose it.
More later,
A frustrated but ever eager to improve Judy
www.nursejudyinfo.com
