Pearl
Judy Conlin
A new lady has rolled into our life. She is quite pretty; rather sporty looking; and amenable to going wherever I want to go. She is much nicer to have around than the other female person in our family. You’ve probably guessed I’m talking about that selfish diva alter ego of mine, Nurse Judy. Nurse Judy only thinks she’s pretty and sporty looking. It is all in her head. The only time she is agreeable to accompany me anywhere is when I’m going shopping or to a party. Pearl never complains. Nurse Judy always complains. Nurse Judy is constantly whining and wanting something daily. Pearl only requires attention when she gets very thirsty, but like a camel, she can go for days without requiring a drink. She can go even longer without taking some kind of medication for her joints.
Nurse Judy thinks our house is not grand enough. She would prefer a castle or palace. Pearl is contented to overnight anywhere. She is as happy camping out as she is a covered abode. She is adaptable. Nurse Judy complains when it is windy or rainy because she’s afraid it will mess up her hair. She refuses to go out. Pearl doesn’t mind being out in any kind of weather. She is a joy to be around.
Nurse Judy loves new clothes. She has three closets stuffed with garments. They are made of satin, lace, and velvet and covered with gems, ribbons, bows, rick rack, sequins, and yes, even pearls. Then she has hats, purses, shoes, and gloves for all occasions. Pearl requires none of these things. She’s happy if what she’s wearing just gets washed occasionally. As far as accessories go, so far all she’s asked for is some floor rugs. She insists this will be a once in a lifetime request because she does not change them out ever. What a girl!
Nurse Judy has very dark brown eyes. Pearl has huge round rather golden eyes. They actually shine in the dark.
Nurse Judy hardly ever runs, and when she does, it is erratic, slow, and she’s short of breath, panting and sweating when she finishes. Pearl runs very fast, very quiet, for as far and as long as you request her to. She is such a fast runner, she is sometimes pulled over by an officer of the law, asking her to slow down for her own safety.
Nurse Judy has boxes and boxes of shoes in all colors and designs. Pearl has one set of shoes. They are not pretty but they are sturdy. She only wears black shoes, and she only asks for new ones if she steps on a nail or if their soles become thin from her constant exercising.
I am so pleased with this new family member that I decide to discuss her many positive qualities with Nurse Judy in the hopes that she would view Pearl as a good example and improve her own behavior. This, of course, turned out to be a wasted effort.
“How can you prefer her?” she yells, “She wears the same outfit every day. Does she try and improve your frumpy looks. No, you can go out with her looking as frumpy as ever. She doesn’t care. I never criticize your driving. I don’t even know how to drive. She’s very critical of your driving and makes all kinds of noises if she doesn’t like what you’re doing. If you don’t wear your seatbelt, she has the annoying habit of nagging you until you do. If you drive off the side of the road, she pulls you back. How can you stand someone so bossy? I never say a word.”
I think about this. She’s right. I don’t like to be told what to do . I like to be independent. As I am mulling this over, she continues. “Besides, when I wanted to get some pretty tattoos and my initials on my arms, you had a fit and wouldn’t let me, but I heard that you are letting Pearl get a Seminole spear and your initials on both sides of her body. That isn’t fair.”
This jolts me. I come to my senses. Pearl isn’t a human. She is my new car. Why am I acting like she is a person. Why am I comparing her to Nurse Judy? I am a bit ashamed. That is, I am a little ashamed until it dawns on me that Nurse Judy may not be a human either. Are alter egos human? I don’t know. I finally make a decision.
“I think we can all get along together,” I say. “Once Pearl starts driving you to your special events and to your favorite shopping places, you’re going to like her too. There’s always room for one more in a happy home.
More later,Judy
www.nursejudyinfo.com
